Procasination is an art

Even after awesome things i did throughout 2013, (referring the previous post),
I, personally, have gotten lazy, i have lost my will of self discipline. I like delaying everything, i tend to put people i was close to as priority number, (yes, i was close with someone) and i totally forgot about the real deal of life is. It did took a toll on me with very very devastating results and made me lost my prized passion which i would not discuss here.

Yes, i made very very dumb mistakes, which initially i didnt regret, but eventually, and throughout, and still, and until now, i really really regret. Everything was put to wasted and resulted in total loss. I've lost my peace of mind. It was initially due to external factors or a liability of being afraid to lose something, but that was history and i lost it with other losses too, but the peace of mind however, is still lost. Things just keep haunting and haunting me. Its either i am lost in transition or i am really2 lost.

I am right now, suffering a severe case of insomnia, no matter how tired i feel, i end up sleeping at 3am and before that attempted to sleep around 1am and just staring and playing with my phone. The peace of mind is lost.

Procasination has sort of became some kind of addiction in me, its like challenging yourself to get better and better at it. Though achieving the challenge comes at great cost, i end up working inefficiently.

I just dont what to let go off right now, i feel like swimming suddenly.

Year in Review 2013

So yesterday as I was wandering around while doing my work and procrastinating, as people at my age would do, they would start watching youtube videos. At every end of the year, there will be a youtube video called,  Youtube Rewind. Recently Youtube Rewind 2013 is finally out! Its not even the 2nd part of December yet, but it was awesome!!! last year's theme was Gangnam Style, this year.... drumroll... it was, WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY! haha

Here's the awesome video

So that was youtube's year in review, so what about yours?

Anyway, this is my 2013 year in review, I may not remember it all, but I will try my best

Gained my Bronze Lifesaving Medallion
Won 3rd Place in a competition and Rm1000 with it
Went to Pulau Perhentian
Scuba Diving and Snorkling!
Internship for 3 months
Became a swimming pool lifeguard and a swimming instructor
Learned Muay Thai, Boxing and Brazillian Jiujitsu,
Went to an MMA event!
Finally met an online friend of mine i've known for 7-8 years in real life
Watched fireworks at Putrajaya!
and many other fun and stupid stuff haha

I guess 2013 was a lot of fun, there was one thing that i love about 2013 the most, I met a lot of awesome people and had a lot of fun with new and old friends, so many to mention,I love you guys <3 p="">

Peace out!

Marriage, Love, Love, Love and Love, dont you ever get tired of these sort of posts haha

There's that part in life when your friends which are not too far in terms of age from you starts to get married.
Some are younger than you, some are older and some are the same age as you.
Some already have two children at your age (TRUE STORY!)

I've went through the hell of an unsuccessful relationship, the sweet parts were sweet but the downfalls are bitter.
Just like eating  bittergourd , even though it isnt sweet, but it is good for health. Hopefully the bitter downfalls act the same way...... hopefully.... hopefully... hmmm hopefully.... (fading echo.....)

Anyway,
I am really happy for my friends who have got married! To me, you are the luckiest bunch of people on earth, managing to find the answer of some of the toughest question in this living world \, you guys manage to find the answer to "Is he/she the one?" , get married, have a wedding and lived happily ever after.

Anyhow,
I've been receiving question from some of my close friends. What kind of girl do you want Idzham? after a thorough thought on that question after a few hours, after finishing a few chapters of an audiobook and after watching a thai movie (Tom Yum Goong 2), I think i've finally figured out the formula towards answering this question

Here it goes

The sort of girl that is immature in terms of entertainment interest, the kind that would have a high interest in comic book or cartoon characters such as iron man, adventure time with fin and jake , kung fu panda and etc. The kind that would stay up with me just to watch these sorts of movies. THE KIND THAT LOVES STAR WARS! SCI FI MOVIES! and able to understand the terms in these sort of movies.

The kind that is a tech nerd, who has the confident in handling tech gadgets and able to debate about me on these tech gadgets. The kind that is not afraid to sing with me on songs that would be deemed weird in this malaysian culture, such as spice girls, bohemian rhapsody. The sort that doesnt mind dating with me at a mamak shop and has a very high interest and knowledgeable on indian, pakistani, arabic food (definitely a plus).

The kind that is willing to challenge me and stay up with me to play video games such as Call Of Duty, Castle Crashers and Portal.

The kind that is good in directions and willing to try and take alternative roads to go somewhere.

The kind that is able to have a western point of view, western malay point of view and malay point of view. Confused eh? haha the kind of girl who could understand the western culture and able to communicate in such culture but doesnt forget that deep down she's malaysian, and she could mix around with the malaysian culture at every level of society. The kind that could understand my deep sense of humour. And also understand my dirty jokes too haha the kind who could speak fluent english of course.

The kind that knows how to take care of herself in terms of health. Able to do sports such as swimming and willing to do sports together and force me to work out if i ever got out of shape.

The kind who could understand my economic situation at certain times.

The kind who doest not dictate at will and does not ruin the mood if things does not go her way while dating...

The kind that could keep her cool even though in the darkest of situation and able to control her tone while communicating.

The kind that appreciates whatever new knowledge that comes to her, not afraid to learn new things and able to share and cherish that knowledge. The kind that would say no if we dated too much and force me to study. For this i know she has discipline.

As a conclusion, I must say that the kind of girl that would be a perfect wife, would sort of be a BFF turned wife? haha

anyway, i think that is all for now, i end this post with an awesome photo haha

    

Till October Recap

Damn, my last post was in 2013 haha
Since the "Facebook" era , getting the creative vibes trying to write a blog is quite difficult. It just gets harder and harder to write the right words and write the right things in the right ways.... Lets give it a shot tonight.

So i've been in shah alam for literally since March 2013..... Semester 6 then internship for 3 months then Semester 7 which started 2 weeks ago. Right after my internship. I just got back to JB today, for my mid semester break.

How was life you may ask. i think it was the most busiest and tiring 7 months i've ever had going on into my life. There were parts that i really regret for probably the rest of my life and there were even more parts which i would cherish definitely forever. Lets list down the awesome parts

1-Made awesome friends
2-Got my Malaysian Lifesaver License
3-Went to pulau perhentian
4-Made more awesome friends
5-Won 3rd place in an academically based competition
6-Grew very long facial hair
7-Got a part time job
8-Stopped lying to myself
 and there are many many many more..............

There is so much to write, i guess i'll write them up later :D

Commitment: I suck

Love
So what is love actually?
Cars, playstation, TV, Money,People, Care, Work, clothes, call of duty, shoes,....... etc

It could be in any form.

Women hmmmm

From the blog post title,
i guess you can predict what I am going to write about,

yes,
i failed,
in love,
................................again.

Honestly,
I am a bad boyfriend,
I love myself too much
I get out of focus
I hate myself when I get out of focus
I dont like unclear information
I dont like being toss around if i did something wrong or something not in the other party's favour
I dont like feeling that you can lose something any minute if precautions are not made
I dont like being held back from my free will
I dont insist on taking away a girl's free will, which is a trend of most malay couples like to do before getting married (even if they dont end up together eventually)
I feel sorry for myself
I am not "garang",i'm a pathetic man who cant get a control of things
I dont like listening to long talks which tend to get lost in the middle due to bad connection (ex. Skype)

anyhow..
I never planned to be a good boyfriend anyway...why?

Before that,
So how do women generally define a good boyfriend?
A romantic one?

oh, i've been through romantic before........
what did that brought me?
Loss,
Loss in forms that hurt so bad, I cant even tell you here.........

So i sort of subconsciously promised and told myself that being romantic doesnt mean anything.........

But i have another version of romance,
My version of romantic would be becoming a good husband, dedicated to his family, preparing food, or maybe breakfast, working hard to get a great job, so i could give my best to my family, and the positive list goes on....

I'll be honest with ya, my family is not the kind of family that shares feelings or have heart to heart moments and stuff
But in terms of us getting the best to work for the best, they are always there
If i needed something to help me study, they are there
If i need nutrition or stuff, they are there
If i needed transport, they are there
If i needed discipline, they are there

So as i grew up, my definition of romance and love, is not really hopeless words, flowers, or gifts
Its about support, material or not, but the effort that i could see or i couldnt see, that is what matters,
So becoming a romantic boyfriend, like romeo and juliet, is sort of bullshit to me, i dont believe in that sort of romance.

But for me to become a responsible man for his family, that is true love

So i am very sorry recent past gf (latest within the date of this post),
I just cant be they way you want me to be.
I hope you enjoy your stay in Malaysia
I am sorry that your initial intentions of coming to Malaysia because of me didnt meant to be...
Oh well, u got a bad ass internship at terengganu anyway, what am i compared to that haha

Good Luck

The more we try to change, the more that we stay the same

The ways of living have changed rapidly over the years, from pagers, to cell phones, to phones with torch lights, to smart phones, to iphones and so on. Though what stays the same through the transition from one type of phone to the other. Whatever changes in this world, the main purpose stays the same. In this case, communication. No matter how advancement change the ways of living, the sole purpose humbly stays the same.

I still remember the first time i got addicted to the early years of social networking. It started of with Friendster. I am certain it was around 9 years ago, where i would ride my bicycle to the nearby cyber cafe, just to update the photo of my profile. Then later on, i discovered how to customize profiles. I would at least change it once a month. The early days of manipulating html. From backgrounds, to fonts, to html images and stuff. A few years later as a stable internet connection was introduced to my home, that was the birth of my addiction towards social networking. "Myspace". The name itself gives you a positive vibe in my veins. Where it all started. Honestly, i dont think i would know much people if i had not had a myspace profile. I'm not really the kind that gets out of home much. So myspace was like the world to me. Oh, but before that, remember yahoo messenger? The sleepless nights of having random chat conferences with many kinds of people and randomly adding them to ur friendlist. I even met them in real life.

And through the years, other forms of social networking gave birth, such a s facebook and twitter. The old forms of social networking seemed to have been abandoned. Though there is a new myspace and its quite good frankly speaking.

Lets move to twitter. I think i started my twitter account back in 2010... i had less then 20 followings and followers. I started to get active on it during the second half of 2011. twitter seemed to be a cheaper alternative to text people compared of SMS-ing, where twitter was free and sms costed at least a few cents. I got so addicted to twitter, i was online almost everywhere. Toilets, Driving, shopping malls, restaurants, everywhere! except masjid. Twitter was also the cause my sleeping disorder. People developed habits of going online twitter before bed and causing their bedtime to be delayed up to hours. I did that too.

Now I would like to share a story about twitter. There was once a boy who started joking around about his future married life, family and stuff.Well, you know people tend to talk about everything on the internet as long as they could write something for writing sake. The boy wrote in a tweet, he wanted to have ten kids when he has a family one day. Then there was this girl. They both followed each other on twitter, knew each other for quite a while, but technically, never really met in real life. Though the boy did stalked the girl in facebook before, he finds the photos she uploaded in facebook to be quite interesting and nice to look at, as she was studying abroad in america and the boy is certainly stuck in malaysia for quite a while. The girl.... hmmmmm... How would I describe her in simple words? hmmm... Genius, Outgoing, Attractive, Talks alot, and almost known by everyone who knows the boy.She loves joking around people's twitter post no matter how funny or how serious they are, there will always be something that she will come up with to brighten the day. Even though it might seemed a bit annoying at times, but its worth a laugh. Lets get back to the boy's post. He post about having 10 kids. The girl responded to the tweet and wrote she wanted to be the nanny of his kids and demanded a large sum of money per month for her services. The boy said, if she demanded that large sum of money, why dont she marry him instead? she would be given more money if possible. The girl responded by saying yes. From that point, they started having some kind of mutual relationship. The kind of relationship where its about having fun calling each other with romantic names and being romantic to each other without any thought of commitment or future.From that point, they kinda accidentally planted a seed for a future relationship. As time passes by, the boy slowly started to enjoy her company.The feelings between started to grow. They didnt even noticed that they were actually starting to get serious with each other..... As for now....they boy is still with her... hoping that he would have a great story to tell on his wedding day one day, on how they got together......... :P

Updated

Cellen suruh update haha *krik krik krik*