This is my first post-graduation blog post. Each time I start writing a new post, it always start with I havent post anything for a long time. Seems that my post writing skills are fading. Anyway, I have graduated! and jobless. Got to where I aimed for, for my overall results and I am extremely happy with it, though I missed 1 semester for Deans List award, which costs me the overall Vice Chancellors Award. Oh well, mistakes were done and realized and accounted for. Time to move on. I hope with whatever I worked for for the past 5 years of post school life was well worth it for my future career!
Anyway, speaking of post graduation, the trend I saw among the people around me (or the people I know on the internet) it seems that upon graduation. comes with tying relationships closer. Some are getting engaged, some are getting married, some are getting babies. Gosh I am getting old. Anyway, all the instagram posts or facebook posts or whatever posts related to marriage or close relationships made me thought, I saw so many long term relationships, as in those that has been in a relationship for many years since high school, university or whatever are starting to get engaged and married. It got me think that all these people are finally seeing the finish line in their relationship, what the hell I've been doing for the past 6 or 7 years?
So I texted a good friend of mine on the matter and here is what I've got from the discussion (written in bold and italic for dramatization):
"You were living your life and testing out waters"
"You were broadening your options"
"And you were making sure that you are always spreading"
-By Halina Zaini 24th of August 2014-
Those 3 sentences made a lot of sense. Anyway, its not like I was not in a relationship or whatever in the past few years. I had a few relationships. But after watching some really good videos on youtube, I realized that my relationships were not because I was ready for the next step and want to go serious, it was merely because I was delusional. Delusional as in everyone else had a gf, why not I? so it was a matter of indirect competition or a society standard of some sort.
I dont even make a good partner anyway lol. When I was in a relationship, I was not the sort of a control freak. I dont care at all what my partner do or hang out with. I have this principle, "if I'm not married to you, I will not get jealous with whoever you hang out with or whatever you do, you deserve your freedom", lol. Though my partner at that time was slightly the opposite, but I didnt care, I still go out with other people and stuff. Its not like I'm attracted to them or anything, I just like hanging out, especially in very small numbers, large numbers can be chaotic sometimes lol. Though my partner was not very happy about it. She got her freedom, she just doesnt want me to have mine lol We ended breaking up eventually. It was the longest relationship I ever had, if we were still together, we might just get engaged by now. (LOL ME GETTING ENGAGED AT THIS AGE WTF? HAHAHAHAHA) Anyway, I was proud to call her my gf when I was in a relationship with her, though it had some losses, but I guess I am bit wiser now (haahahaha, seriously the "wiser" part is super funny for me hahaaha)
I guess those who are around my age who are already engage or married had their understanding way earlier than other people and its even greater that you got your parents blessing too, because that is normally the hardest part (HAHAHA).
After the previous relationship, I did not stop searching. There were great women that also caught my eye. But still, I am not ready for it, because I need to be wiser if i were to take care of another soul... (WISER hahahaha, i need to stop with this wiser thingy hahahaha) Honestly, I see myself going into the 30s single and with the "I've been around the world" face haha.
Now I am in the post graduation (unemployment) phase. Hopefully everything goes well in the near future and most importantly I could score some interviews. Right now, I am living on 3-5 hours of Call of Duty Ghost on the PS4 for good brain stimulation LOL. Luckily my dad bought me the PS4 as a pre-graduation present. My PS3 broke earlier this year :(. Anyway, thank you dad! Oh, I heard news the playstation network is out for a day or two. First it was for maintenance as officially told by sony. But now there is news that it is out because it is hacked, because it is not down as it is supposed to be, which was planned to be tommorrow.
Anyway, that is all from my random post grad ramblings. I will post some more interest things in the near future. Cheerio!
