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Commitment: I suck



By  Dominic Blaaque     01.26     
Love
So what is love actually?
Cars, playstation, TV, Money,People, Care, Work, clothes, call of duty, shoes,....... etc

It could be in any form.

Women hmmmm

From the blog post title,
i guess you can predict what I am going to write about,

yes,
i failed,
in love,
................................again.

Honestly,
I am a bad boyfriend,
I love myself too much
I get out of focus
I hate myself when I get out of focus
I dont like unclear information
I dont like being toss around if i did something wrong or something not in the other party's favour
I dont like feeling that you can lose something any minute if precautions are not made
I dont like being held back from my free will
I dont insist on taking away a girl's free will, which is a trend of most malay couples like to do before getting married (even if they dont end up together eventually)
I feel sorry for myself
I am not "garang",i'm a pathetic man who cant get a control of things
I dont like listening to long talks which tend to get lost in the middle due to bad connection (ex. Skype)

anyhow..
I never planned to be a good boyfriend anyway...why?

Before that,
So how do women generally define a good boyfriend?
A romantic one?

oh, i've been through romantic before........
what did that brought me?
Loss,
Loss in forms that hurt so bad, I cant even tell you here.........

So i sort of subconsciously promised and told myself that being romantic doesnt mean anything.........

But i have another version of romance,
My version of romantic would be becoming a good husband, dedicated to his family, preparing food, or maybe breakfast, working hard to get a great job, so i could give my best to my family, and the positive list goes on....

I'll be honest with ya, my family is not the kind of family that shares feelings or have heart to heart moments and stuff
But in terms of us getting the best to work for the best, they are always there
If i needed something to help me study, they are there
If i need nutrition or stuff, they are there
If i needed transport, they are there
If i needed discipline, they are there

So as i grew up, my definition of romance and love, is not really hopeless words, flowers, or gifts
Its about support, material or not, but the effort that i could see or i couldnt see, that is what matters,
So becoming a romantic boyfriend, like romeo and juliet, is sort of bullshit to me, i dont believe in that sort of romance.

But for me to become a responsible man for his family, that is true love

So i am very sorry recent past gf (latest within the date of this post),
I just cant be they way you want me to be.
I hope you enjoy your stay in Malaysia
I am sorry that your initial intentions of coming to Malaysia because of me didnt meant to be...
Oh well, u got a bad ass internship at terengganu anyway, what am i compared to that haha

Good Luck

About Dominic Blaaque

Idzham Ibrahim, your friendly neighbourhood unemployed mech eng graduate

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