Rabu, 18 Desember 2013

Procasination is an art

Even after awesome things i did throughout 2013, (referring the previous post),
I, personally, have gotten lazy, i have lost my will of self discipline. I like delaying everything, i tend to put people i was close to as priority number, (yes, i was close with someone) and i totally forgot about the real deal of life is. It did took a toll on me with very very devastating results and made me lost my prized passion which i would not discuss here.

Yes, i made very very dumb mistakes, which initially i didnt regret, but eventually, and throughout, and still, and until now, i really really regret. Everything was put to wasted and resulted in total loss. I've lost my peace of mind. It was initially due to external factors or a liability of being afraid to lose something, but that was history and i lost it with other losses too, but the peace of mind however, is still lost. Things just keep haunting and haunting me. Its either i am lost in transition or i am really2 lost.

I am right now, suffering a severe case of insomnia, no matter how tired i feel, i end up sleeping at 3am and before that attempted to sleep around 1am and just staring and playing with my phone. The peace of mind is lost.

Procasination has sort of became some kind of addiction in me, its like challenging yourself to get better and better at it. Though achieving the challenge comes at great cost, i end up working inefficiently.

I just dont what to let go off right now, i feel like swimming suddenly.

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